ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
