I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Even my vagina gasped.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
