i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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