My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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