do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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