Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
