Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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