No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Who died my cat blue again?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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