where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
