If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize