A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
