all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
