I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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