Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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