i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
