oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
