Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
