The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
