everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
