there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
