White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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