What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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