So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize