I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
