just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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