turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
