some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize