i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
