My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize