Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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