hotel room ftw
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
