You're completely useless in the revolution.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
a search helicopter?!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
