you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
