He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
