Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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