so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
