Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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