I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
