Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
