When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
