We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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