i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
