We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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