dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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