discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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