its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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