but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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