I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize