feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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