note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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