I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
