Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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