The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm having to shit out rocks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize