so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
