and you said cock pushups were impossible
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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