Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
