hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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