He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize