How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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