PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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