You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
