your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
