I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
