is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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