I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
