i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I will be naked everywhere
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
